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Tuesday, September 1, 2015

8 great films cursed by bad endings: Did Kingsman really need that anal sex joke?

8 great films cursed by bad endings: Did Kingsman really need that anal sex joke?


As the ending to one of the best films ever says, "Nobody's perfect", and the same goes for cinema, as these 12 great movies with bad endings prove.

Spoiler avoiders, beware, however: there will be in-depth discussion of several twisty movies below, so if you're of a nervous moviegoing disposition, click away now. 

1. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi (1983)

Jabba and Princess leia

What went right: There's a lot to love in Jedi: one of the best lightsaber battles in the series, the Jabba's palace break-out sequence, top notch SFX – the speeder bikes alone – and finally, victory for the good guys. And yes, Princess Leia's bikini, if you're into that sort of thing.

What went wrong: George Lucas. In fiddling with the ending again and again, it's hard to work out what is the "definitive" version is, but however it officially ends –goodbye old Darth Vader, hello young Darth Vader – the final minutes of the best space opera ever sees dozens of squeaking teddy bears bouncing about to a song called 'Yub Nub'. 'Nuff said. 

2. I Am Legend (2007)

Will Smith in I Am Legend (2007)
© Rex Features / Snap Stills

What went right: Sticking close to Richard Matheson's original novel, most of the film sees Will Smith's "last man on earth" scrambling to find a cure for a virus while fighting off zombie-like beings. Taut, tense and terrifying, it's one of Smith's finest hours. Well, hour and a halfs.

What went wrong: They veered from the source material in what The New York Times called a "third-act collapse". After creating the cure, Smith blows himself up in a volley of blood, bones and body bits, leaving viewers shocked and depressed. Fortunately, they also shot a subtler ending. Unfortunately, it's just a deleted scene on the DVD.

3. Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Kingsman: The Secret Service
© 20th Century Fox

What went right: A slick, violent, tongue-in-cheek romp, this is filmmaking with flair, from Colin Firth's superspy bloodily butchering a church full of bloodthirsty worshippers to a lisping bad guy (Samuel L Jackson) who's scared of the sight of blood. Add in a blades-for-legs henchwoman and an espionage training school and you've got a Bond botherer with bags of style.

What went wrong: It's rare to see a joke fall so horribly flat that it ruins the rest of the film, but here it is: Taron Edgerton's Eggsy ends up in a Roger Moore-era tussle with a previously restrained and admirable Scandinavian princess (Hanna Alström). Not so bad, you might think, but an anal sex joke combined with a lascivious shot of her posterior leaves the audience in a very bad mood.

4. Superman (1978)

Christopher Reeve in Superman (1978)

What went right: So much is so good. Christopher Reeve is perfectly cast, and the joyful mix of what the late, great film critic Roger Ebert called "adventure and romance, heroes and villains, earthshaking special effects and wit" cannot fail to warm the heart. Flawed, yes, but to many this is still the definitive superhero blockbuster.

What went wrong: The Get Out of Jail Free Card at the very, very end. Bravely seeing Superman choose between saving the world and saving Lois Lane, Superman does the right thing, only to get very angry, fly around (and around) the world to turn back time and save his girl. Young or old, professor or ignoramus, this is seriously confusing.

5. Sunshine (2007)

A still from 'Sunshine'

What went right: Buoyed by a gorgeous Underworld score, Sunshine starts off a visually stunning journey into the unknown as a group of scientists set the controls for the heart of the sun. Their task: to reignite the flickering star and prevent a solar winter on earth. Save the world and die, or don't save the world and everyone dies.

What went wrong: The genre changed. In the final reels, out went the thought and in came the bloody horror. In abruptly turning into a slasher movie starring Mark Strong the film suddenly falls over. Where is the film I was watching? How the hell is Mark Strong's character still alive? Who what the heck now?

6. 500 Days of Summer (2009)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 Days of Summer (2009)

What went right: A bittersweet look at falling head over heels in love with the wrong person, this kinda-sorta rom-com jumped around a young couple's history as they tried to make it work. Shame it was never going to, really. A great soundtrack and two dynamic leads made this film feel both Hollywood and real. 

What went wrong: After losing Summer, Tom comes to terms with his loss, moves on and concentrates on the architecture career he's always dreamed of. Happy days. But just as you're feeling his joy in being content without someone... he meets the replacement Summer, a pretty fellow architect conveniently called Autumn, thereby undermining everything he's just learnt. 

7. Signs (2002)

Mel Gibson in Signs (2002)
© Rex Features / Walt Disney/Everett

What went right: The first hour is a meticulously-crafted story of an eccentric family dealing with an alien invasion - family and faith are the themes here, and you watch with the sensation that something glorious is about to be pulled out of the hat. This isSixth Sense director M Night Shyamalan, after all, and this hypertense foreplay will surely pay off...

What went wrong: The payoff never came. You expect things to go out with a bang, not a whimper, and yet that's just what happens: the ugly-looking aliens are blindsided by the presence of water, something the earth predominantly consists of, and the film ends. For a man known for his rug-pulls, this is a sorry shambles. 

8. The Prestige (2006)

Christian Bale in The Prestige
© Rex Features / Touchstone/Everett

What went right: A wealth of acting talent - Jackman, Bale, Johansson - join forces with one of cinema's best directors for a delightfully tricksy story of rival magicians desperate to outdo each other. Innovative and edgy, it keeps audiences guessing as the two obsessives perform ever-more dangerous feats to be the best.

What went wrong: Clones? Secret identical twin brothers? As The Trades critic RJ Carter put it, "I love a good science fiction story, just tell me in advance." David Bowie's cameo as Nikola Tesla drops a logic bomb all over proceedings, and all that grounded "realism" you were quietly investing in disappears in a puff of smoke.

Disagree with us and loved any of these endings? Or is there another frustrating film finale you've hated? Let us know in thecomments below...

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